May 31, 2021 – You know that space between dreams, when you’ve let go of the old one before the new one has taken shape? It’s an uncomfortable place to be. It can be ugly. But it’s necessary.
Up to now, Camp Many Moons has been a kind of rustic nature get-away — the first dream. Now we’ve decided to proceed with a cabin — the second dream. Many people who buy 300 feet of waterfront would immediately start to build, but not me. I wanted time to breathe in the nature of the place first. That meant keeping a small footprint, living in a camper and using a compost toilet. After a few years of that, I’m ready for conveniences. My guests are, too!
The transition means carving out space, and then living with a construction site for as long as it takes. In the past few weeks, this meant taking down 17 more trees – cedar, elm, balsam, spruce and maple. (I’m still surprised how hard it is for me to kill healthy trees, even though I’m experienced with it by now.) Then, digging a hole for a septic tank – the necessary “convenience” that is invisible to most of us. Then, staking out the potential floor plan and putting it on paper…discuss, revise, repeat.
We’re taking the DIY route so far, thanks to Jeff’s knowledge and equipment and skills. I’m not just watching, though. I’m getting my hands dirty, quite literally, and learning something new every day.
And I’m watching myself go through this process. Sadness, then excitement, then doubts.
I learned a saying years ago that I have used ever since: “Trust the process.” In the face of uncertainty, consult my inner guide and just take the next best step. Right now, that means “making space.” Clearing out that which no longer serves, and trusting that something better will fill the space left behind. It means taking the time it takes. Taking time to notice. Allowing the emotions to come.
I don’t like looking at the barren spot that was once filled with flora and fauna. I don’t like it at all. But the process of “making space” is often difficult. Clearing out negative thought patterns isn’t easy either, but I’m getting better at it and gradually developing healthier thinking habits.
I’ll get better at this too.
I do trust the process.
I think. 😉